What Controls You?

I was an avid Mets fan when I was growing up. My brother and I spent many hours listening to games on the radio (we didn't have a television). I knew every player and many of their stats. I still remember 1986 when they won the World Series against the Red Sox. Poor Bill Buckner...right through his legs!

While being a baseball fan brought a lot of enjoyment in my life, it also did something to me that wasn't healthy. It controlled my emotions. My family could tell right away whether the Mets had won or lost on any given day by seeing what kind of mood I was in. If the Mets beat the other team, I was happy as could be. If they didn't, I was a mess. I just couldn't get over it! Do you know anyone like this?

I eventually realized what was happening in my life and stopped following sports altogether for years...until the Chicago Bulls came along in the 90's and won title after title! Jordan sure was amazing to watch! Over the years, I've made progress and I am learning to guard myself against things that control my emotions.

It's important to remember that just about anything can reign over our emotions: our relationships, our performance at work, the stock market, a job loss, our children, etc. Here are a couple verses that have helped me along the way:

"You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you." Isaiah 26:3

"Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit." Ephesians 5:18

Don't let the devil use anything to consume your life and control your emotions. Instead, submit yourself to God, let him consume you, and you will live above your circumstances!

Apples and Trees

The other day, I was at the baseball field and I was reminded of a phrase my mom used to use when I was growing up. She used to say, "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree." One of the players on a team had gotten mad and stormed off the field declaring to everyone that he had quit. I wasn't really surprised by his behavior. His dad, one of the coaches, is known at the field for arguing with the umps and yelling at his players. I wonder where his son learned such behavior? Hmmm....

This incident was yet another reminder to me that, as leaders, we replicate who we are...whether we like it or not. As a leader, I must first examine my own life before pointing the finger at the team I am leading. I was reading a blog post today by Perry Noble (he's becoming one of my favorites), and he was writing to senior pastors leading their staff.

"If you want loyalty…then GIVE IT!  The leader that demands it but does not offer it often leaves a wake of abused and neglected staff members." To read his full post, click here.

Don't get me wrong, there are times when individuals go their own way. But in general, the speed of the leader determines the speed of the team.

The Measure of a True Worship Experience

I've had the privilege of visiting a lot of churches in the Charlotte area over the past 4 months or so. Throughout my journey, I've had numerous conversations with people about corporate worship. Interestingly, most of the topics discussed have been about style. Let's face it! Although worship is a spiritual act, we are humans and so often style can enhance or hinder our worship experience.

So what is the measure of a true worship experience? For all of the traditionalists...it's not how many hymns are sung. For all of the modernists...it's not if the worship leader wears jeans and plays the guitar. It's not how many people are on stage or if you like the worship leader's voice. It's not how long or how loud the people sing. It's not how many times you sing the songs (grew up in one of those churches!!!) and it has nothing to do with how programmed the service is. Spontaneity is not the measure of true worship and neither is the perfect line-up of songs. It has nothing to do with how well-executed the transitions are or if the music falls short or expectations.

A true worship experience can best be measured by the impact it has on the lives of its participants. True worship experiences bring you closer to God! They change you from the inside out and make you more like Jesus. They leave you in a position where you see the world more through Jesus' eyes than your own. Such times fill you with godly joy and peace and sometimes even conviction!

While I do think that issues of style are important for reaching particular cultures (more on that another time), it must NEVER be the measure of a true worship experience. One more thing...remember that your worship experience is affected by your willingness to reach out to God as well. God never forces anyone to worship Him!

Well, that's enough for now! I'd love to hear your thoughts or any issues you may be wrestling with.

BTDTGTTS Syndrome

I was driving the kids home from school the other day and I overheard Zachary and Trevor talking about Trevor's math homework. Trevor was saying some of his times tables out loud so that Zachary could hear what he was learning. In true big brother fashion (I should know, I was one!) and with a smug look on his face, Zachary said, "I know those. They're so easy!" And then he went on to speak out the answers to the equations before Trevor could say them.

I know! All big brothers do this, right? Nevertheless, I felt ever so compelled to remind Zachary that he was much older than Trevor and that he should use the opportunity to encourage Trevor instead of leveraging it to make himself appear superior. Yeah right!

The whole incident got me thinking about the BTDTGTTS syndrome. You know: Been There, Done That, Got The T-Shirt! We all have suffered from this syndrome at one point or another. It has a way of creeping in to our lives without any warning....yes, even math homework will bring it on!

Like any syndrome, the source of the problem must be diagnosed before it can be treated. When it comes to BTDTGTTS syndrome, the root is easily identified: Pride! And sometimes it slithers its way into our spiritual life. Unfortunately, those of us who are more mature in the faith are more susceptible to this syndrome. Why? Because we've read all the Bible stories. We've listened to 1000's of sermons. We've sung a legion of worship tunes throughout our lives.

So, how do you know that this syndrome is present? Here are a few symptoms:

1. We read the Bible for information, not for transformation.
2. We look to "get something out of" corporate worship instead of giving our worship to God.
3. We constantly make excuses for our lack of service.
4. We lack patience with those who are immature in the faith.
5. We have lost our drive to tell others about Jesus.

When it comes to our spiritual lives, BTDTGTTS syndrome is extremely dangerous. It causes us to elevate ourselves above others. Unfortunately, the mountain we think we are standing on is nothing more than a figment of our imagination. BTDTGTTS syndrome has a way of skewing our vision and killing our hunger to know more of who God is. It literally stunts our growth!

I implore you! Don't let this syndrome infiltrate your life. It only hurts you and others. Humble yourself and celebrate the victories of those around you. You will be amazed at what God will do through you!

It's Hard To Lead When...

Some wisdom on leadership from Perry Noble. Enjoy...

It’s Hard To Lead When…

#1 – You think you are better than the people you are leading. (No one loves an environment where they are constantly looked down upon and spoken down to!)

#2 – You think you are smarter than the people you are leading. (Reality is…you’re probably not. AND…if you are then your insecurity limited you to only bringing stupid people to serve around you…not wise!)

#3 – You think the people you are leading should take care of you…but you refuse to take care of them.

#4 – You don’t respect the people you are leading. (If there is someone in the room who causes you to roll your eyes everytime they speak…either they should not be there OR you need to do a serious gut check and make sure you aren’t intimidated.)

#5 – When you are threatened by the people you are leading. (There is NOTHING more dangerous than an insecure leader. Saul freaked out when they gave him credit for slaying thousands and David credit for slaying tens of thousands…and, well, it didn’t end well for Saul.)

#6 – When you run over those you are supposed to be lifting up.

#7 – When you believe the people around you should do what you say because of the POSITION you hold rather than the PERSON you are!

#8 – When you allow unresolved conflict to dominate everyone’s thoughts but you refuse to bring it out in the open for fear of the discomfort it may cause. (If you team can’t enter into uncomfortable conversations then your team will NEVER accomplish anything significant!)

#9 – You don’t love the people you are leading. (Jesus was an effective leader because He genuinely LOVED the men He led! AND…also because HE WAS JESUS! :-) )

#10 – You don’t listen to the people you are leading. (If you view your leadership team meeting as an opportunity for you to only teach rather than share your heart and learn from others…it’s probably a really boring meeting!)

25 Things I Hate About Facebook

This video made me laugh. Hopefully, it will do the same for you. Happy Friday!

Hurt By The Church

Have you ever been hurt by the Church? If so, you are not alone. Throughout my life, I've met many people who have been hurt in a church setting. I've been hurt before. Many times. Yes, even as a Pastor! The truth is that there's a pretty good chance that you will be offended or hurt in some way at some point at your church. Why? Churches are filled with imperfect people (BTW, you are one of them, too!).  

While there are some who are able to work through the hurt, others leave altogether. In fact, a recent study by George Barna revealed that nearly 4 out of 10 unchurched Americans currently avoid going to church because of negative experiences they once had. You can read the full article by clicking here.

My heart was grieved when I read this statistic. It's amazing to think that so many have distanced themselves and are missing out on the benefits of being a part of a spiritual community because of their bad experiences. Let's face it. It's not just the people who have left! There are plenty of people within the church who have been hurt as well.

What is the solution to this problem plaguing the Church? How does a person who has been hurt find the healing they need? I believe that it begins with forgiveness. Forgiveness sets us free and helps us to continue to love those who may not love us. This may be something you have to do again and again. I've had to. Someone once told me that you know that you've forgiven someone when you can sincerely pray blessings on that person's life. Wow!

So, the next time you get poked by one of the porcupines sitting or serving with you at your church, remember this...God's love for you is greater than any hurt you have. Forgive. Don't let bitterness ruin your life!