Lessons Learned From Job Loss

I wrote an article for the Spiritual Care Support Ministries newsletter a while back that I thought I'd share with all of you. It's a little longer than my normal blog entries, but I think it's worth posting. Please feel free to pass it on to anyone who is currently unemployed.

On Monday, November 9, 2009, I had an experience that I hardly expected and never will forget. It was a typical Monday afternoon. My assistant and I were chipping away at the myriad of things that needed to be done for the week. As a worship pastor, there is never a lack of things to do! 

I was just about to pack up my stuff to leave when my office phone rang. It was my boss, the lead pastor. He invited me to come to his office to chat before I left.  I soon found out that our “chat” was much more than a time for small talk. He informed me that the church was going to be embracing a different type of leadership structure and he would no longer need my services. 

That day, I started down a road that I’ve never traveled before. As a pastor, I’ve helped people who were unemployed and did my best to understand their pain. I can now say that I know their struggles first hand. Here are some of the lessons I learned while I was unemployed. Hopefully, they will be a source of wisdom and encouragement to you. 

1. Learn to manage your emotions. Like any loss, my journey started with many negative emotions. I first felt denial which soon led to blame and anger. I reasoned, “How could such an injustice happen to me? I was a faithful employee, always doing more than I was asked to do. How could an organization, a church nonetheless, devalue me this much? How could God let this happen?”

My anger then led to sadness and self-pity. I saw myself as the victim in the story. I couldn’t stop dwelling on what had happened. I replayed the incident endlessly in my mind, trying to pinpoint something that I could have done differently to prevent my loss. Unfortunately, like an endless cycle, my self-pity led back to blame and then to anger again. 

This went on for some time before I realized what was happening and began to address my problem head on. I came to realize that feeling these emotions wasn’t wrong, but letting them control me was. With the help of some dear people in my life, I began to forgive those who had hurt me. It was then that I felt the grip that my emotions had on me begin to loosen. 

2. You are not what you do. Listen to a group of men talk and one of the first questions they ask each other is “What do you do for a living?” As men, we naturally find our identity in our careers. I certainly have found this to be true. Being without a job made it difficult at times to find something to talk about with the guys.  It also made me feel less important at times around them.

All of this has forced me to take a step back and assess who I am. First and foremost, I am a child of God. I am a husband and a father. While I currently may not hold the position, I am still a pastor and a worship leader. These are all gifts from God and they leave me with much for which to be thankful. Lately, I find myself talking to my friends about some of these treasures in my life. It’s a good reminder that I am not what I do.

3. God keeps His Word.  Job loss often leads to extended times of waiting. In some cases, job seekers search for a year or more. As one who lived this reality, I found the waiting process to be frustrating and even draining at times. The hardest part has been dealing with employers who promise to call back and never do. We live in a day and age where many people no longer keep their word. This kind of treatment can make a person feel like no one really cares at all. 

Lately, I’ve been dwelling on the fact that God always keeps his Word. Read through the scriptures and you will find that God has a great plan for his children and that He always follows through. God operates in a way that is in stark contrast to those looking for someone to hire. He will come through in His perfect time. And in the meantime, He will give you strength to wait if you ask Him for it.

4. Worry less, pray more!  Being without a job can definitely put a strain on the finances. As men, we are usually the main providers for our families. Not being able to fulfill this duty naturally causes us to worry about our future. Believe me; I’ve spent a good number of hours lying awake at night worrying about my family!

One thing that has helped me to break this habit is to remember that worry does not change my situation. If I am doing all that I can to find a job and trusting God with my situation, I need not worry. When I begin to worry, I do my best to turn it around by praying and asking God for help. As for my finances, God has been and still is providing for my family in some pretty unusual ways. I wish I had time to tell you all of it!

Perhaps you have recently lost your job. Whatever you do, don’t give up! Remember that there are many others fighting the same battle as you. Better yet, you can be sure that God is with you and is helping you find your next job. Even when it seems like He is not there, He is working out a good plan for you. His silence is not his absence. Reach out to Him and you will find all that you need.